Reflections
by Orangen
Summary: "I'm not worthy to be a Trainer anymore, am I? I'm not a hero. I was never meant to be one." Hilda vents to Brycen after the events of Black and White and finds him to be a very good listener.


_Disclaimer_: Story is mine, Pokémon isn't.

_Author's Note_: I feel like Brycen needs more love. I'm not really sure what Black 2 and White 2 will be doing with his personality, so if it ends up contradicting what I've written here, feel free to leave tons of reviews yelling at me for it. However, I will say that this is mainly inspired by what he can say to you if you come back and talk to him after fighting the Elite Four (not sure if it's available earlier though, since I've never checked before then). Hilda's personality is more of my own invention since she's a silent protagonist and all, and I don't know if she's been in the anime yet or not.

**Reflections**

Lately, Hilda had begun to find herself in Icirrus City quite often. It was far from being Unova's largest city, and the sharp seasonal changes frequently made traversing the city rather difficult.

The real reason she was there was not for any actual fondness for the city itself, though, but rather for the large tower looming over the horizon.

Hilda couldn't entirely remember when her ritual had started, but she'd visited the city almost every day without fail for at least a few weeks. Her Braviary would dutifully fly her over Twist Mountain's high peaks, gracefully descending upon Icirrus City and landing very carefully to let her off his back. She would then stand there on the outskirts of the town, gazing up at Dragonspiral Tower forlornly. When she eventually shook herself out of her thoughts, it was always somehow hours later, and she had to force herself to ask Braviary to fly her away from the area.

Apart from the tower's mythological significance, which Hilda normally wouldn't have cared about otherwise, there was a more important underlying factor in her thoughts. It was where N had finally awoken Reshiram and _officially_ dragged her into Team Plasma's schemes. Before then, she could have chalked up her interactions with the team to merely being in the right place at the right time, but with that, there was no way she could have called her involvement coincidental. She no longer had had the option of backing out and letting Cheren or Bianca deal with them—not that she'd _really_ make Bianca of all people go after Zekrom, though, not after Team Plasma had stolen her Munna.

Not that she'd back out, anyway. Hilda had heard her whole life that her extreme determination was one of her most charming traits, and she'd never let Team Plasma run around Unova doing whatever they pleased. But still, the conclusion to the team's schemes was what had been dwelling in her mind so much.

Oh, she'd been victorious, of course. That much should have been a comfort. Although she'd had plenty of help along the way, Hilda had still prevented the team from separating Trainers and Pokémon, allowing life to continue as it always had.

Normally, she loved fighting and being victorious almost as much as Cheren once had. Yet Hilda couldn't help listing off a slew of things she felt she'd failed at every time she recalled the events that had occurred.

If she'd gotten to Dragonspiral Tower sooner, maybe she could have prevented N from awakening Reshiram. Then she could have stopped Team Plasma well before their attack on the League.

If she'd gotten her badges and reached the Pokémon League more quickly, she could have been ready and waiting to help Alder defeat N.

If she was _really_ worthy of being a "hero," she could have awoken Zekrom earlier, thus rendering the need to fight at the League in the first place completely unnecessary. Instead, Zekrom hadn't revived until it was in the very presence of Reshiram, making it feel as if it had awoken in response to its opposite rather than actually in response to anything Hilda had done.

If only she'd actually reached out to N and tried to understand him sooner, she could have entirely derailed Ghetsis's plans in a way that would have been not only more simple but also far more pleasant for N. Hilda was normally far too confident to doubt anything she'd done, but when the green-haired young man surfaced in her thoughts, she had nothing but regret.

Many of the residents of Icirrus City had become quite familiar with Hilda, and every time they saw her Braviary approaching, they very politely backed away from the northern end of the city to give her some space. It seemed that the city's residents, in general, were very quiet and reserved people, which Hilda appreciated. While Cheren occasionally reminded her that she was nearly as talkative as Bianca was, for once Hilda couldn't imagine herself telling anyone what she was thinking about as she somberly gazed up at Dragonspiral Tower.

It was after one of her longer reflections that Hilda felt a presence behind her when she was about to leave. She hadn't noticed when, but Brycen had apparently approached her sometime during her musings; fortunately, he'd been his usual silent self the whole time. Her hand was already resting on Braviary's Great Ball as she tried to force a smile.

"Hello," she said dully. Her voice cracked, somewhat hoarse from recent disuse.

Brycen merely nodded in acknowledgement, causing Hilda to wonder why the Gym Leader had approached her. He spoke up softly a few seconds later, however.

"You've been thinking about the events at the castle. You don't need to hide it. We were all involved."

Hilda was taken aback. Of course Brycen had been spot-on, and he'd even spoken in his typical brief sentences. She didn't like to think she was so transparent to others, though. Her hand dropped back down to her side, and she gazed back up at the tower again before she answered.

"I… I'm not worthy to a Trainer anymore, am I?" she replied bitterly. "I needed help left and right for everything I did. I should have been able to stop them much earlier, and by myself, but all the way up to the end I was relying on everyone else to come solve things for me."

Brycen was silent again, but he didn't do anything to indicate that he wanted to leave. He'd always been quite hard to read, but Hilda took that as a cue to keep speaking.

"I'm not a hero. I was never meant to be one. The only reason I was 'chosen' was because N decided it for me. I did absolutely nothing heroic before or after the incident at Dragonspiral Tower, apart from being too stupid to know when to quit… I never would have gotten through the castle if Bianca hadn't gone to get you and the other Gym Leaders… And Zekrom only woke up when I was just about to fight N and Reshiram. I-I should just give my Pokémon and Pokédex back to Professor Juniper and…"

She cut herself off when she realized she was crying. Hilda could count the number of times she'd cried in her entire life on one hand, yet here she was having a mild breakdown in front of one of the most stoic people she'd ever met over things that, on their own, were probably completely trivial. She mentally kicked herself; it was so unlike her in the first place to get so emotional over anything, and it could very easily be interpreted that she was crying over N and merely using all the other inherent issues to justify it.

"I-I'm sorry. I'll leave."

There was suddenly a hand on her shoulder, and Hilda was quite startled to see Brycen's dark eyes focused on her so sharply.

"Let me tell you something that Alder once told me. It's at times like this when you need to be with others, either humans or Pokémon, the most. This is the very last moment in which you should consider giving up. Do you understand me?"

Hilda nodded numbly. She'd probably sounded quite foolish, but Brycen's tone of voice didn't seem to indicate annoyance. There was instead a slight hint of concern, perhaps the most open expression she had ever heard out of him.

"Do you think I'm being ridiculous?" Hilda was still sniffling, but at least she managed to speak clearly. "I honestly feel like I didn't do anything well enough. Even without Team Plasma, I was just the luckiest kid in the world who got through everything by sheer chance. Cheren and Bianca both always had to try much harder than I did."

"But the fact of the matter is that, ultimately, it was still you who finished everything. You are better than you think you are."

Her eyes were wet again. "Why are you being so patient with me? I appreciate it, but…"

There was a long, somewhat awkward pause, broken only after Brycen's hand had drifted to Hilda's shoulder again.

"I have felt similar emotions to the ones you are feeling now. I'll be here again if it's necessary."

With that, Brycen turned back towards the gym, walking with the same slow, calm gait that he always did. Hilda watched him leave with a sense of amazement, unable to picture the man with anything less than his typical serious demeanor, yet surprised that he'd bother to tell her of all people that he had anything to get upset over.

She found herself smiling reluctantly when she let Braviary out of his Great Ball. The eagle Pokémon crouched down to let her on his back, and after he straightened up, Hilda leaned forward over his back. As Braviary rose into the air, Hilda looked down at the city below them with a broader smile.

"Braviary? Next time, please drop me off closer to the gym."


End file.
